| Hey, happy peoples! |
[Oct. 22nd, 2007|03:46 am] |
Fuck you!
Just thought I'd let you know what I think of all this exclusive happiness going around. |
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| Hey, Nate updated his journal! |
[Sep. 10th, 2007|12:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Rosebuds - Silja Line/Ooberman - Follow The Sun | ] |
I feel like this livejournal is an old friend whom I lost touch with when I started seeing myspace, and now we're back in touch, and it's my slutty mistress.
A hot, slutty, mistress.
But let's look beyond that.
I'm sitting here, and I have about a half an hour until I need to start getting ready for work, so I thought I'd write some things out here, considering I tend to get more profound responses on livejournal than I do on myspace.
I really hope that those of you who're reading this never have to live with this terror. Maybe you are living with this terror. I hope that if you are, you're handling it better than I.
I'm 20 years old, and I feel like I've nothing to show for it. Everyone I know is moving on in life, and I feel like I'm exactly where I was 2, 3, even 4 years ago.
I keep jumping around on my "chosen" career, that it's starting to annoy people...I can't blame them. I've been all over the map.
I look at my friends' lives, the ones who went off to college and are doing something with themselves, and I'm truly jealous. I know I'm probably romanticizing your lives, but I can't help but feel like I got left behind.
I have nobody to blame for that but myself.
I go to community college a semester, then take two off, then go again, and it's not even like I'm taking the semesters off by choice - it's by circumstance. I've raised my GPA up to 3.1 (better than the 2.5 I graduated high school with at least), but something's missing.
Someone I was talking to made me realize just how much I DO miss doing theatre. I've been thinking about checking into what I'd have to do to go into that field of work.
I don't know. This is a paper thin rant, but still...
Thanks for reading.
Please leave me some profound thoughts, journalers.
PS - I don't think myspace suspects a thing. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2007|11:18 pm] |
"He was killed by a cellular phone explosion
They scattered his ashes across the ocean
The water was used to make baby lotion
The wheels of promotion were set into motion
But the sun still shines in the summer time
I'll be yours if you'll be mine
I tried to change, but I changed my mind
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
She lived alone in a small apartment
Across the street from the health department
She left her pills in the glove compartment
That was the afternoon her heart went
And the sun still shines in the summer time
I'll be yours if you'll be mine
I tried to change, but I changed my mind
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
I used to fly for United Airlines
Then I got fired for reading High Times
My license expired in alomst no time
Now I'm retired and I think that's fine
Because the sun still shines in the summer time
I'll be yours if you'll be mine
I tried to change, but I changed my mind
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
Won't you have another glass of Mexican wine?"
Hey, yay, a new post. |
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| ANIMALS: |
[Apr. 2nd, 2007|03:26 am] |
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Fun to pet. Better to chew. |
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| A metaphor. |
[Mar. 31st, 2007|05:33 am] |
I tried to ask you for directions because I was unfamiliar with this road that you've driven down before. You told me that I needed to learn it for myself but every now and again you'd shout out when I had to make a turn. If I got lost, you wouldn't tell me how to get back on the road, you would only ever rebuke me. You've left me with only the faintest idea of where I am. I look around and all I see is unfamiliar territory. You've emptied out my car of people, telling them that I'm a bad driver. You've emptied out my car of people, telling them that I will get them lost aswell. Now I am going to ask you once. I am going to tell you once. You hold a map but refuse to help me find the road I need.
This is your last chance then. I'm asking you one more time: let me see the map, or get the fuck out of my car. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2007|06:25 pm] |
"I never jumped in and rescued you
But I wanted to
I didn't tell you which way to go
‘Cause I thought you'd know
You had a problem with your new-found wealth
Brought it on yourself
I never told you I told you so
But I told you so
Have to let it go
It's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
It took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve
Or I never will
I never told you I agreed with you
I don't think I do
I wasn't sure quite what the whole thing meant
But I'm glad you went
I never thought that it could be painless
But it is I guess
I had myself fooled into needing you
Did I fool you too?
Have to let it go
It's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
Took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve
Or I never will
A viral infection
That can incubate for years
Caused by affection
Falling deep into arrears
No medication to procure
Makes me pure
There's no cure
I am sure
I never mentioned how I’ve prayed for you
Now I've paid for you
I never said that I would wait for you
It's too late for you
It's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
It took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve
Or I never will
Or I never will
I never will
Oh I
Oh I
Oh I
I Never will
Never will" |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|03:09 am] |
Someone cheer me up.
Because I think a little piece of me is dying every day and I hate doing puzzles with missing pieces. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2007|09:32 pm] |
"'There's no time to lose', I heard her say.
Catch your dreams before they slip away.
Dying all the time.
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind,
And life unkind.
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday.
Who could hang a name on you,
When you change with every new day?
Still I'm gonna miss you.
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday.
Who could hang a name on you,
When you change with every new day?
Still I'm gonna miss you." |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rob Zombie - "Never Gonna Stop (Red Red Kroovy)" | ] |
( Full Metal Jacket )
I forgot how beautiful that movie is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|11:45 am] |
What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day
"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day
Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your
plight
Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pusuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day
( Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|01:28 am] |
"If you look close enough you can't tell where my nose ends and space begins."
Sometimes if you stare at the night sky long enough, everything simply blurs together like a painting that someone doused in water. It all just sort of softens, and then it all becomes one. It's sort of relaxing to know there doesn't always have to be such sharp contrast in everything. It works with people too. Find your similarities, not your differences.
"There is no remainder in the mathematics of infinity."
"Everything is the same, even if it's different."
( Let a good thing go to waste ) |
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| Well, here we are. |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|02:05 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | crossroads | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Boy Sets Fire - "My Life In The Knife Trade" | ] |
Well, here we are at one of those big crossroads in life. One by one, we take our trains out to different destinations. Some of us are going out of state, some are going to big universities, and some of us are staying here. This is a time for new hellos, and old goodbyes. I've known some of you since elementry, some of you since middle school, some of you I met in the great turning point we call adolescence in high school, and some of you I've only known a couple of months.
I have a firm philosophy that our actions, reactions, and interactions shape who we are, and who we become. No matter what, the people we have met in our lives help us decide what train we get on. I'm thankful for everyone of you. From people I still talk to, to those who I speak to only on an occasion, and even to those who I feud with constantly. Each of you has helped shape me as a human being, and I hope that you can say the same about me. I hope I've somehow helped you.
How can we say that we've lived a full life? How does one go about adding volume to their own life? That is all locked away within the interactions we have with one another. Though not all of these interactions are positive, they all add something to the locked box that we call life. I say life is a locked box, because it's still waiting to be opened, and you have to unlock the secrets of it. Each interaction helps build the keys needed. To fulfil your life, you need to interact. To open the box, you need to have the key.
If I were to die tomarrow, I would be proud to have met every one of you, and to be able to call you a friend. Even if we aren't really friends, when it comes down to it, you've all helped shape me. I thank you for that.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|01:16 pm] |
She...
She screams in silence
A sullen riot penetrating through her mind
Waiting for a sign
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2005|01:37 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Kleenexgirlwonder - "Amelia" | ] |
So, I found out today that I can never tell the girl I love that I love her. It would hurt her too much to do that. So, there's only one solution.
THE BAR!
From the sounds of it, Andy, Mikey G, Josh, and myself are going to go to some of the clubs pretty soon here. Maybe a bar or two. Who knows anymore. Not saying I'll drink. But I feel that some visceral experience might cheer me up a bit. That and my chances of meeting a girl go up substancially.
Now only to work on this car-wreck called my face.
Ashley's open house was today, and it was pretty fun. We sang some kareokee. My legs still hurt from standing all day though. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|09:50 am] |
"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but itts not sane, its not sane
I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that theres no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
It rips my life away but its a great escape...escape...escape
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
You don't like my point of view
Ya think that I'm insane
Its not sane... its not sane
I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made" |
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catintheengine's journal
crushed
